Friday, November 03, 2006

betrayed by the body

Feeling glum today. Got some worrisome news about my mother's health. I'm a wreck about it - I have foolishly come to take her presence in our lives for granted. She's my rock, my guidepost, and a truly loving soul - I assumed she was going to be around forever. Now I am all to keenly aware of how precious little time we really have with those we love. After losing my father 11 1/2 years ago in a matter of weeks- which completely turned my life upside down - I had convinced myself that she would be with us for decades - I mean no god could be so cruel as to take both parents at such a young age, right? I watched my mother cope with the loss of my father with grace, dignity and strength and then find happiness again right at the time that everything in my personal life was falling nicely into place... and things have been going swimmingly for everyone in the family for the past 6 years. Life - or Death rather - has a funny way of rearing its ugly face and biting you in the ass on a semi-regular basis - doesn't it? Of course all these morbid musings are premature - she hasn't gotten a confirmed negative diagnosis - and she seems very optimistic about the whole thing - the MDs said it was likely a benign ovarian cyst - but the paranoid freak in me is already envisioning the worst. I hate that about myself - why can't I just roll with it, hope for the best and be convinced that nothing terrible will happen?

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

the day after all hallow's eve and the great outdoors

So we've come full circle - I started this silly blog a year ago and have managed a whopping SEVEN posts so far... I wanna be a blogger - I do I do - but it's so hard to find the time to write it all down. Life happens pretty fast around here and I'd love to capture more of it and save it for the hereafter. So with renewed energy I'm forging on with my blog - and am determined to get better at crystallizing the daily mundane for posterity's sake.
'Treaties' were a big hit with the under 4 set yesterday - but of course I entrusted camera to TCT so no pics available. I'm going to "stage" some Halloween shots so you can see how sweet they were in costume.
It really is beautiful out here - the colors have been amazing this year - of course would be better if you could see a picture of them! I have mixed feelings about the country living thing - I like the simplicity of it - but sometimes it is too simple... and the bugs and great outdoors still sorta freak me out. Would I give it up for city living - which would require a full time job with benefits, day care, etc.? Hard to say... probably not - I do revel in being able to watch F & S blossom before my very eyes. But financial stability and the "opt in to the chaos" nature of the city does have a certain appeal. The biggest news to hit these remote parts is the apparent abduction (and presumed ghoulish demise) of two neighborhood cats by a coyote. Haven't met the dastardly culprit yet and have no desire to - I mean for the love of god - it's like Little House on the Prairie but for real - what on earth would I do if I crossed paths with a freaking coyote - it's not like I'm armed or anything (but some of the toothless wonders who live around here and poach on our property would probably be willing to help me out!)